NeverNeverLand or Bust.

I think over winter break, everything became real. I was no longer a teenage girl enjoying her last high school winter break, I became me, experiencing my last break with friends. It's me, one step closer to a completely different life. I haven't slept soundly since this epiphany. For example, last night as I laid in bed for four hours before falling asleep, I kept thinking about prom and the senior trip and college and how it's ending. My comfortable life here is ending. I will never see some of these people again, and that scares me. What if I don't fit in at college, what if I fail? I have a headache.
What if I realize I'm not a good writer, not a good speaker, not a good person? What if I can't decide who I want to be before I go? And what if I can't force myself to forget the memories that keep me awake at night? What if I'm going so far to run away, and I'm still not happy?
I just can't believe it's almost over. I can't believe that my best friend is going to be so far away. I can't believe that I'm throwing myself into a completely different atmosphere five hours away. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to grow up. And I don't want to face the reality that this is happening.
I'm almost thankful for these pointless next few months of high school. It's frustrating because I'm already accepted and I technically don't need these grades or these classes anymore. Like seriously, how is another semester of high school gym class going to better my education? But I am still secretly glad I have a final semester of high school gym class, because it is my last, and it means I'm still here, I haven't gone yet.
This is so stressful. I'm stressed about being stressed. I know that once I start planning and stressing about senior trip and prom, it will be here and then over. Why did it come so fast? And it's not like I'm the only one going through this, my entire senior class is anticipating transition. But I don't know if everyone is losing sleep over this. I feel like an adult.